When men think about going on a date, they wonder if the woman they are meeting for the first time will like their face, humour or where they picked for the date. Some also wonder if she will be beautiful in person as she is in her dating profile.
On the other hand, women who are meeting their dates for the first time wonder whether these men will see them as good company and even fear for their lives. Many women worry about their safety while meeting men for first time dates.
This is why men should add making a woman feel safe to their list of pre-date concerns. If your date doesn’t feel at ease, she won’t laugh at your joke, no matter how funny it is. If she’s worried about her safety, she won’t appreciate the cute date spot.
Make your date feel safe with these tips.
Only lean in as far as she does
If you are sitting across from your date, only lean across the table as far as she does. If she is sitting back against her chair and you are leaning halfway across the table, she can feel like you instantly want way more from this interaction than she does. You almost make her feel like you are lunging towards her. Lean in as far as she does, so she feels that you are just as engaged as she is: not more, and not less.
Give her a good handshake
If you shake your date’s hand when you meet her instead of giving her a hug, don’t give her a limp handshake. This can be interpreted as a sign of disrespect or a sign of insecurity. This is because how much you assert yourself in a handshake says a lot about how much you assert yourself in life. Give her a firm handshake. And don’t cusp her hand with both of your hands—it’s condescending.
Smile when she speaks but not too much
Smiling is wonderfully disarming. Smiling denotes liking the other person, and wanting them to feel comfortable. Having a simple, closed-mouth smile when your date speaks shows her you aren’t judging her, you aren’t annoyed or impatient, you are just happy to be there and hope she is too.
Don’t cross your arms
Crossed arms are a sign of insecurity, anger or a closed-off nature. Doing this won’t make a woman feel comfortable. If a woman feels like you are open about who you are, flaws, history and all, she will feel safe.
Fidgeting makes you look nervous. Maybe you are nervous, but your date shouldn’t know this. Let her know you are in control of this ship. Your nerves may just have to do with you wondering if she likes you, but she could interpret them as you having something to hide.
Think before you speak
You may be wondering what this has to do with body language, but if you watch someone actually think before they respond, you will notice changes in their face and posture. Taking a moment to think before you respond makes your body more naturally relax, simply because you are in your head, working something out. If you, however, respond the instant your date is done speaking, you look eager and anxious.
Let her initiate touching
As far as things like touching her lower back, grabbing her hand to lead her through a crowd or touching her hands across the table go, let your date initiate these things. If you initiate them before she has, you have no way of knowing whether or not she’s comfortable with physical touch yet. But she will make a note of the fact that you went for it, before knowing if she was comfortable with it.
As a general rule, mirror your date’s body language. If she scoots closer to you, you can scoot a little closer, too. If she starts reaching across the table in conversation, you can do this, too. When you mirror someone’s body language, you make them subconsciously feel you are on the same page about a lot of things.
Have a relaxed posture
Try to avoid sitting up perfectly straight like you are having dinner with the queen of England. This makes you look like you aspire to appear perfect. Nobody is perfect, so it makes you look like a liar. Be comfortable with your flaws, including your imperfect posture.